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Joke of the Day

"ISIS frequently takes credit for random attacks even when they had nothing to do with them, making ISIS basically the Fat Jew of terrorism"

"A man walks into a bar And says ouch. Hello Caldera! I'll be here all week!"

"What's the difference between a penis and a vagina.. Unfortunately, in my case ... only 2 inches. :'("

"Call me Marquis de Sade Cause I'm a smooth operator"

"When I tell you I butt-dialed you, I'm not saying it was an accident, I just want you to be impressed."

"How does a girl get a guy to eat shit? She wipes back to front."

"What did the mad cow say to the other cow? You don't want beef with me"

"I have to look up the word innuendo... If you know what I mean ;) Courtesy of Suits"

"*takes a home pregnancy test* *finds out home is pregnant* *calls a carpenter to find out if it's gonna be a shed or a gazebo*"

"What thinks the unthinkable? An ithe-berg"