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Joke of the Day

"I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition. It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time."

"What do you call it when a person falls ill from watching too many BBC period dramas? Downton Syndrome"

"I'm so glad I found Twitter...I finally have a rock solid Alibi for my Google Search History!"

"If I got 50p for every time I failed a maths test I'd have about 6.30 by now"

"How does trump fire a gun? He tells the bullet it's fired."

"Why do LGBT men typically have their whisker-hairs depilated? So their skin won't feel so abrucive"

"Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones."

"me *dead*: at least I don't have to pay student loans *Gets e-mail* We see your living status has changed. Click to update your loan info."

"I used to hate my tumor But it grew on me."

"What do you get when you mix lemonade and ice tea? A dead golfer..."