59329

Joke of the Day

"Why is Halloween considered the scariest time of the year? Most weddings happen in June."

"Considering how badly Asians drive, I got to thinking. Maybe Pearl Harbor was an accident."

"""Excuse me, but the sign says 'No shirt, no shoes, no service.' It doesn't say a goddamn thing about no pants."" - Me, drunk at Target"

"IRONMAN 3 SPOILER ALERT: Tony's all ""pffsh whatever I'm Ironman"" then he's all ""JARVIS HELP"" then he's sad but then it's like whaaaaat."

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"I'm a Gentleman. I'll always give a woman my umbrella if it's raining outside. Unless she's wearing white of course."

"Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed? But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered"

"When I die, my only wish is for my corpse to be respectfully catapulted onto a whitewater raft of people going down the Colorado river"

"What's a fireman's favourite drink? Water."

"Have you ever seen moth balls? You have? Then how the hell did you get their legs apart?"