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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that when a woman wears a bikini, 90% of the body is exposed? But men are so classy that they only stare at the 10% that's covered"

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in three words."" Me: responds poorly to authority"

"I don't believe in star signs but that's me... typical capricorn!"

"How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns? The Sesame Seeds on his buns. (According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)"

"What's hitler's favorite yu-gi-oh card? Blue eyes blond dragon."

"Why aren't there any female butchers? Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone."

"CENTAUR: My dad slept with a horse MINOTAUR: My mum slept with a bull PIGOTAUR: My dad was Prime Minister."

"The brain is a wonder ful thing Why do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !"

"[Mon] Boss: Let's talk about your clothes Adam: But it's my best leaf B: You need officewear A: Understood [Tues] B: Is that a sticky note?"

"After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed. My address, my job, my phone number..."