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Joke of the Day
"Fun typo: ""You ate the most important thing in my life."""
Next Joke
"[holding baby] haha oh whoa i thought he'd be slimey but he's really dry"
"Where are average people made? The satisfactory"
"The most underused drug is birth control pills."
"I recently rewatched The Lion King and just noticed how many metaphors there were... I guess you can say there was a whole lot of *Simba*-lism."
"Interviewer: how do you explain the long gap in your resume? Me: I fell asleep with my face on the spacebar"
"I'm at the point in my life where ""friend with benefits"" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons."
"I was recently the subject of a joke. I chickened out of a fight, and crossed the road to get away."
"Knock Knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? I though you'd never forget."
"The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going"