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Joke of the Day

"""you create beauty with your soul and personality! and also with not being fat and with using this make up."" - women's magazines"

"An horse walks into a bar. The customers get up and leave, recognizing the danger that may cause an animal of that size."

"One of the World's Strongest Man events should be ""Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."""

"My signature sex move is flirting like a pornstar then getting awkward as fcuk once it looks like something could actually happen."

"Your parent's house: a place where even bad photos find their way into frames."

"I think the problem is that I'm 20% stud and 80% muffin."

"Happy 15th bday, Internet Explorer! We baked you a cake. What's that funny taste? Definitely not poison. Have another slice!"

"Why don't pirates drive on mountain roads? 'Scurvy"

"Companies should use chromosomes in advertising Because sex cells."

"I was on the subway when someone sneezed on me. I was so disgusted, I turned to him and said ""People like you make me sick."""