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Joke of the Day

"Leave any two Arabs alone in a room and throw in a sharp stick... come back fifteen minutes later and one of them is going to have that stick in his eye."

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"Why did the bike not go to the gym? BECAUSE IT WAS TOO TIRED :D:D:D:D:D:D"
"[gestures to the parents of a crying baby] shhhh, please. my foot's asleep"
"When a coworker tells everyone he proposed, I'm the guy that asks, ""So, what did she say?"" I'm funny that way."
"You know what Popeye and Napoleon have in common? They both come on those little jugs of Olive Oil."
"BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field. The steaks have never been higher."
"I went to the Doctor for a checkup, and he started shoving toy horses up my ass He looked up and told me my condition was 'stable'"
"What do you say about a man with premature ejaculation and severe diarrhea? Easy come; easy go."
"*ex-Olive Garden server shoveling dirt into a fresh grave* Tell me when."
"Popular joke in Ukraine ""Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew."""