59012

Joke of the Day

"What do you get for the women who has everything? A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next"

"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food but no atmosphere."

"When writing your calculus exam, make sure you don't sit between twins. Because you might not be able to differentiate between them."

"I guess since you can't adopt Russian children anymore, you will just have to wait until they are old enough to be a mail order bride."

"*sees a cat yawning* How the hell can you be tired?"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.. But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"Tragic: In the world every 60 seconds... ...One minute passes."

"""Sorry, her father is a pterodactyl"" - me with the screeching baby in the grocery store."

"What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump? Reagan helped tear down a wall."