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Joke of the Day

"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"What do you call the killing of Chinese baby girls? Youth-in-Asia"

"It was Beethoven's 245th birthday yesterday. Of course, that's only 35 in human years "

"What do you call someone who takes everything literally? A kleptomaniac!"

"Darth Vader is not that bad... he is the first black guy to admit he is the father."

"What's the difference between a German and a Scot? The German knows when he's not speaking English."

"My girlfriend and I broke up because of a difference in religious beliefs. She didn't believe I was God."

"[Trump speaking at rally] I love this country. I love America. I love singing the *looks at smudged writing on hand* Strawbangled Panther"

"When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear."

"If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off."