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Joke of the Day

"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life"

"So I walked into a pub with some of the lads... Oh wait hang on I don't have a social life."

"Body scans and genital fondlings would save more lives if our Government was paying to have them done in hospitals rather than airports."

"""Pilot season"" in Hollywood is when TV networks pay writers millions of dollars to think of ways people could move in together."

"I worry about people who write ""taken"" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren't we helping to find them?"

"[stand-up comic bombing] Comic: I guess I can tell you my joke about ghosts Audience: BOOOOOO! Comic: Oh ok you've heard that one before."

"This coffee is so strong it just raised 5 children on a nurse's salary."

"Best part about marriage? NO MORE CONDOMS!!! Worst part about marriage? No more sex."

"What do you call a statistician watching a bull fight? A mathador."