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Joke of the Day

"A STD You Can Get From Performing After performing, what STD did the performer get from the audience? **The Clap**"

"Updog (terrible joke I posted in dadjokes) Dad: (sniffs) it smells like updog in here. Son: What's up dog? Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!?"

"What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner? One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger."

"What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding? ""Speed is relative, officer."""

"Why did Hitler invade Poland? To get to the other side."

"Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."

"Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self.. Where the fuck is my roof??"

"dad, why does my cake say ""we dont want a talking cake"" ""its a long story son"""

"Hey baby, if I were a gorilla exhibit I'd let you drop a kid in me."

"BREAKING NEWS: Baby found in the middle of the Meteorite crash site,,, he is miraculously unharmed... Wrapped in what seems to be a red cape."