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Joke of the Day
"In the future, everyone will have to make a public apology for 15 minutes."
Next Joke
"A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken."""
"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy."
"Nobody under the age of 23 has any recollection of life before the internet. I hope that fact makes you vomit like it did me."
"My wife told me she'll leave me if I go blind. I guess I'll just have to see."
"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side."
"The best time to eat candy Is when she doesn't have her period."
"That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome."
"I saw a funny post on 9GAG but then I realized I had already Reddit."
"Just accidentally flashed my gay neighbor. He's not gay anymore. HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding. He totally threw up."