197923

Joke of the Day

"I hate thinking of new passwords. Last time I did I chose ""Penis."" But got the error: Your password is too short. I tried BBCPenis, that was too many characters. Guess that ones too long."

"Why not just say you're feeling thargic, don't be all French about it"

"Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents."

"ME: forgive me father for I have sinned PRIEST: nothing that can't be forgiven my son ME: I microwave my pop tarts PRIEST: u sick son of a"

"I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess."

"What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business? A Pte-redact-yl"

"Where is the best place to buy chicken broth? at the stock market"

"What do you call a prostitutes first day on the job? A Grand Opening"

"Gold walks into a bar... So gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out! I show myself out..."

"Friend: [rubs my shoulder] Aw, honey, your life isn't over. It's just beginning! Me: *sobs even harder"