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Joke of the Day

"Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving? Because you only need one arm to drum along.."

"What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank? Urine over your head!"

"HAD LOTS OF ESPRESSO. TWEETING FROM THE MOON. I LIVE HERE NOW. IT IS NOT MADE OUT OF CHEESE. 1 OUT OF 5 STARS: NOT RECOMMENDED"

"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"

"I hate it when you're about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes."

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? You should know, you've only read it twenty times."

"What did Thomas Jefferson grow? Old."

"Getting colagen injections in my lips next week 'cause, you know, 'tis the season to be Jolie."

"Q. Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? R. Charged With Battery!"

"Why did the Pilgrims pants keep falling down Because his belt buckle was on his hat ..."