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Joke of the Day

"People think I'm a hugger, but I'm actually shaking them down for snacks."

"this 'donkey kong' aspires to humanity through the gesture of the necktie. yet it is the hoarding of his wealth that truly makes him human"

"Q: Which is harder to make? A blonde brunette or a red-headed snowman? A: A blonde because you have to hollow out its head"

"My dad is a blackjack dealer. He hit me until I was 21."

"Her: I've had gray hairs since I was 16. Me: I got my grays after I got married. Hubs: I CAN HEAR YOU! Me: AND I LOVE MY GRAYS, HONEY!"

"What do a guy crossing Niagara falls on a tight rope and a guy getting a blowjob from a 90 year old have in common? Both are thinking don't look down, just don't look down."

"Katrina Hit me hard, Wrecked my house, threw all of my possessions around and flooded my basement, But I still think those jeans made her look fat."

"How do you make five pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.."

"What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig!"

"Why did the broom take a nap? It was sweepy. &#3232;\_&#3232;"