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Joke of the Day

"Two chemists are at a bar. One says, ""I'd like some water."" The other says ""I'd like some Hydrogen Peroxide."" The second one died. Of cancer, many years later."

"A girl wants to go to the concert... She asked her dad for his permission, and he said, ""no, but you can buy the album, and that's vinyl."""

"Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt? Second Clown: I always perform in the big top."

"I like my women the same way I like my guns... Black and oily with a sensitive trigger."

"Young woman... There was a young lady from Exeter, So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er. But only one was so brave as to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er."

"""What are all those wires?"" ""My wireless internet."" (New Yorker cartoon ideas)"

"My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone. That was the last time we played monopoly."

"Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A RIP OFF!!!"

"Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes? Because icing is not allowed."