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Joke of the Day

"If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving TOO much. And several felonies in 3 different states. But mostly loving too much."

"I took a biology exam the other day. The test asked me to list two things that are commonly found in cells. Apparently blacks and mexicans was not the right answer."

"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""

"A friend of mine has a left foot fetish. It's just not right."

"What is an epileptics favourite food? Seizure Salad"

"I think I lost an electron I'm feeling pretty positive though"

"Big shoutout to the Red Robin waitress who checked my ID and immediately ruined the moment by saying, ""Wow you're, like, older than my dad!"""

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much it is for a beer. The bartender says ; ""For you.. No charge!"""

"What does an Ent want? A bad birch."

"How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet."