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Joke of the Day

"How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet."

"How did Helen Keller break her arms? She tried to read a road sign going 45mph"

"Why do I hear noises? (Teacher) ""With all this talking I assume you are done with your work"" (Student) ""And with all this complaining I assume you're single"""

"If you're happy and you know it go to hell"

"Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters."

"LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun"

"When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?"

"What's the difference between Feminism and Islam One is a woman led group that aims to beat the patriarchy. The other is a patriarchy that aims to beat women."

"I'm so sad because my friend is moving to Shanghai. More like Shang-bye."

"i have a very sore throat & your suggestion of a shot of whiskey only helped in the way that i no longer care about my extremely sore throat"