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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that protons have mass? Na"

"Go ahead and assume it's a banana; I'm rarely that happy to see anyone."

"What do you call an epileptic in a deck chair? A transformer."

"I speak 4 languages: English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Real shit."

"What does someone have when he can tell you how many guys are in a crowd? Acumen."

"Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza? Because he's shellfish!"

"Why people don't use #YOLO anymore? Because they lived once"

"Recent study has revealed that masturbation might help curing the common cold. Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left.."

"Right now the parents of the kid who climbed Trump Tower are thinking ""Damn I knew we shouldn't have given him that REI gift card"""

"my thoughts and prayers go out to anyone at ComicCon attending a live taping of a podcast"