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Joke of the Day
"Go ahead and assume it's a banana; I'm rarely that happy to see anyone."
Next Joke
"Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public."
"Did you hear about Mike Tyson's opinion on ears? He had some biting commentary on the matter."
"Being a prostitute on the Enterprise sounded interesting... But actually it's mostly Data entry."
"Before Twitter, I used to be stupid in the privacy of my own mind."
"How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer."
"Chief cop: ""This might be racially motivated."" Ian: ""Hate crime?"" Chief cop: ""We all hate crime, Ian. That's why we are cops."""
"Where do Tumblr users go to pray? The Cis-Teen Chapel"
"Bosses are like diapers... Always on your ass and normally full of shit"
"What do you say to an art student with a job? ""Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"""