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Joke of the Day

"The 9:50 from Paris has been diverted. Nothing to do with the weather, we just don't like the French."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"

"What is a Viking's favorite music? Ragnarock"

"Coors Light ships cold straight from the factory. I wish other water companies would do the same."

"A man goes to the Doctor. A man makes an appointment with his Doctor. Says ""Doctor, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm"" The Doctor says ""What are you taking for it?"" Man replies ""Pollen"""

"Twitter: What do our users want? Users: An edit button and relief from spam/abuse. Twitter: Novella-length Tweets it is!"

"Who would you like for president in 2020? Anyone who doesn't have poor visions."

"Just got added to a list called ""people."" Glad I made that cut."

"""My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, ""You're the third one this week"""

"Remember when I pissed off Apollo? Those were dark times."