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Joke of the Day

"Q. Where can you dance in California? A. San Fran-disco"

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"My toddler stole bacon off my plate. We all had a good laugh. Then I made her move out."

"Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill each with a buck and a quarter.. Jill came down with two fifty.. That fucking whore. ( The Dice Man )"

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

"If cats could talk, they'd probably yell ""PARKOUR"" a lot."

"How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny? By hare mail!"

"A woman walks into a brothel trying to find work... ""Do you have any openings here?"" she asks the manager. The manager replies, ""Sorry, we have too many right now."""

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being dark."