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Joke of the Day

"I can't afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair."

"Why is Santa a terrible sexual partner? Because he doesn't exist"

"I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and realizes its a loser and doesn't want to do anything"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ashley ! Ashley who ? Ashley-t's foot !"

"Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them."

"Scientists have discovered a new way to get AIDS from toilets You sit down before the other man is done."

"What's so lame about a duck President? Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!"

"I bought a designer body bag and now I'm scared to gain weight."

"I took this guys order at work last night. It was delicious."

"You've really gotta hand it to short people because we usually can't reach it anyway"