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Joke of the Day

"Facebook does NOT need a dislike button. It's just gonna start more drama."

"Need the best Hillary I need the best Hillary Clinton joke there is. The worst the better. I need to tell my history teacher. Shes a Hillary supporter. Dirtier the better"

"I like to make intense direct eye contact with the person in the vehicle next to me at a stop light while I pick my nose."

"Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with."

"How does a plant walk? It uses a plant stand."

"I knew the guy who invented the clothes iron. Unfortunately, he died from being ironed on the face. I still remember the iron-y smell of his blood."

"What did Billy Mays do on 12/31/1998 Partied like it's 19.99!"

"My mom has two assholes Her real asshole and my father."

"Over the past year my sexual perversions have been getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom."

"Lmao this joke has no punchline because Ellen Pao"