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Joke of the Day

"Report: Scientist walks in on climate changing, awkwardness ensues"

"Pain Pills? You mean bitch mints? **^^flexes**"

"Did you hear about the woman who hotboxed her burqa? She got stoned"

"Before takeoff our flight attendant asked everyone to turn off their Samsung Galaxy phones You know, the ones with the headphone jack"

"What do you call a bee's rear end? A Bee-Hind"

"What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?"

"Remember when I told you to be yourself? I think we should revisit that."

"If the State of the Union is really ""the best it's ever been"" Why do we ""need"" dozens of new government programs to fix it!"

"I hate it when you're about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes."

"Getting shit done. Was my response when my boss ask me what I'm doing. And now I'm sitting outside of H.R."