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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a pheromone? Tell him to let your people go."
Next Joke
"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places... ...My doctor told me to stay away from those places."
"What does a sperm cell have in common with a lawyer? Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being."
"My friends hate me because I make too many Linkin Park references. but in the end it doesn't even matter."
"One of the underrated 2011 subplots is the battle between local car dealer commercials & hostage videos on who has worse production value."
"Guide to making everyone hate you: Step 1) Turn your hat backwards"
"""As one door closes, another one opens,"" he said. ""That's all well and good,"" I said, ""But until you fix it, I'm not buying the car."""
"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"
"Me: I'm not going to drink in 2017 *in hospital 3 days later* Doctor: You have to drink water you idiot"
"Someone wake up that guy from Green Day."