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Joke of the Day

"Did u hear about the leper poker game? everyone threw their hands in"

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"Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!"
"Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say ""You haven't seen The Wire?"" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying."
"Did you hear about the wedding between the two antenna? The service was terrible, but the reception was great."
"I was going to make a documentary about my sex life but somebody else snatched up the rights to the title. TROLLHUNTER"
"Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway."
"I dream of the day when automatic paper towel dispensers finally realize the human hand isn't 3 inches long."
"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."
"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish.... And a Bass Pro Shop salesman will eat for a lifetime."
"PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."