190618

Joke of the Day

"I've always identified with Professor Calamitous from Jimmy Neutron... But I never bothered to figure out why."

"[Alien monster is levelling Toronto] CANADAMAN: Excuse me, sir, SIR, could you stop please? SIR?"

"I still remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"Why did the pedophile move to Korea? Because there, Too Young is just a name."

"5 years ago I asked a girl if she wanted to go on a date. Yesterday I asked her if she would marry me. She said no both times, though."

"Boy: My love for you is like counting the stars.. Girl: Oww, Infinite? Boy: Nope, Pointless .."

"This damn hurricane, I would have thought that the country that invented the burrito, could handle a bit of strong wind"

"[at the gym] ME: Hey, can you spot me? GUY: Sure, which machine? ME: *gestures to vending machine* Right over there"

"I always cary a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say, ""I like your haircut"", I can respond with, ""Thanks. Here, have some."""

"Oe Oe Oe so there's these 2 monkeys bathing one monkey says: oe oe ooooe second monkey says: did you forgot to put some cold water in?"