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Joke of the Day

"Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out."

"My wife said to me, ""Isn't it odd how on our keyboard the letters ORPN have been worn out?"""

"What do you call a Muslim on a plane? Soon to be detained for flying home to his family in Houston after a business trip."

"Lottery gives you a 1 in 200M chance of skipping work tomorrow...alcohol is 1 in 5. You play your game...I'll play mine"

"What's the difference between three dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke...."

"In a surprise move, Taco Bell is acquiring Taco Bueno... It's a hostile tacover."

"Rules for texting a girl: 1. Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2. Use good grammar. 3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."

"What do you get when you cross 10 sodium particles with the Dark Knight? Nananananananananana BATMAN!"

"I could win the Nobel Peace Prize and not feel as accomplished as I do when I successfully put together something from Ikea."

"I lost my voice so basically I'm every mans dream girl right now."