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Joke of the Day

"It's so weird and coincidental that everyone who likes me is cool and smart and everyone who doesn't is an egomaniacal asshole."

"Top Rated Videos: Dangerous Joke ever.Baby is being Edict.awkward http://streetpranks.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/dangerous-joke-everbaby-is-being.html"

"What do you do after raping a deaf girl? Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone."

"""No, Dad, Vampire Weekend is not like Shark Week..."""

"What's the difference between a feminist and a Land Mine. Absolutely nothing."

"What do you call a black woman whose had 7 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Barakaysan la hadal sida Maalinta burcad ah!"

"I hired a PR team. They said the public would like me more if I stopped executing people. I executed the PR team."

"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"

"Therapist: Problem? Me: I always quote Eminem lyrics. T: Explain? M: I can't tell you what it really is,I can only tell u what it feels like"