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Joke of the Day

"When I fall down a public venue, ""Did anyone see me"" totally outranks ""Am I ok"" on the thought process."

"I worked at a Chili's when I was in college, which is so embarrassing. I usually just tell people I was a stripper."

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. http://imgur.com/gallery/8u6m2Nv"

"'ey girl, you remind me of my homework... Because I'm not going to do you. I'm just too lazy."

"Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susie."

"Shortest joke ever? ""Pretentious? Moi?"""

"Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure... it's called a credit card."

"The best time to leave the country is when a demonic voice screams your name from inside a locked basement"

"Do you think they named April Fool's Day in your honor?"

"Wanna hear a joke? My fucking grades after my midterms."