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Joke of the Day

"the worst part of senior prom was definitely dropping my date and my grandfather's ashes going EVERYWHERE"

"I have enough money to last the rest of my life... So long as I don't spend any of it."

"I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left."

"""Talk dirty to me!""she begged. ""Alright,"" he said leaning closer, ""Volkswagon diesel!"""

"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""

"What did the daddy salt say to his son? ""Stop cracking your NaCles."""

"What do cats read Mewspapers"

"What did the pirate say as he was sailing through Jamaica? ""X marks the pot, matey."""

"Did you hear the one about the German sausage? It was the wurst!"

"What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common? They both want to get there before the hair"