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Joke of the Day

"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""

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"Why are there 2 doors on a chicken coupe? Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan"
"Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra... The police are on the lookout for two hardened criminals..."
"Hear about that guy who was so desperate for accolades that he framed his parking citation?"
"Rabbits who hang out in indie pet stores are hopsters."
"What exactly is dissassociative identity disorder? I've heard of it but don't know what it means?"
"1st thing I do when I take a girl back to my bedroom is act like a stewardess & instruct her where exits are, oxygen masks, & life jackets."
"Have You Heard About the New Italian Sports Cars? Dago up a hill, dago down a hill, and when they get a flat tire, dago wop-wop-wop-wop-wop."
"And the genius told me ""Do you want a big dick or a good memory ?"" Ho ! What did I choose ? I don't remember."
"In baseball, why does it take longer to get from second to third than any other bases? Because there's a short stop in between."