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Joke of the Day

"Another Old Blonde Joke A brunette yells to a blonde across a river, ""Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"" The blonde yells back ""You are on the other side!"""

"My friend died from eating too much waterfowl I thought he had lived a good, happy life He told me that he was full of Egrets"

"Never trust someone who runs for ""fun."""

"What did the double-amputee say when he stood up? ""I stand corrected."" -From /r/showerthoughts"

"What are you going to be when you get out of school? An old man!"

"What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"A snail was mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said ""I don't know. It all happened so fast."""

"If I could meet any celebrity it might have to be David Schwimmer. In a schwimming pool. Learning how to schwim."

"If I had a crystal ball to see 5 years in the future, I would have 2020 vision."

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac-man. For 25 cents she would swallow balls until she died."