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Joke of the Day

"This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense."

"With all this media coverage about the clowns... I'll be so glad when the election is over."

"Not a catfish. Just behind on my lip waxing."

"How do they even grow a boneless chicken?"

"POLLY GETS A CRACKER WHEN HE STOPS REFERRING TO HIMSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON, and not a moment before. Stupid bird."

"What does the torch represent in the hand of the Statue of Liberty? The torch is a symbol of her inability to read in the dark."

"Have you heard the one about the roof? never mind, just forget about it, it's probably over your head."

"Why do Jews watch porn backwards? Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back."

"What's with girls having weird names nowadays? I recently slept with a girl and after sex she was like ""I'm Fifteen"" I was like that's nice I'm Daniel."

"Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China? All the dongs."