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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid North Korea's long range missiles."

"Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat. Maureen: Why ? Michael: She can't bear to stop talking."

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And then a staircase. I don't think hes alright, can someone get a doctor?"

"I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing."

"The Simpsons need to have an episode where Arsenal win the Champions League"

"What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common? Their odds of winning are the same"

"I was asked today why I thought Kim Kardashian & Kanye West would break up. I replied ""dunno, but they're BOUND 2 EVENTUALLY"" I hate myself."

"I get really sad whenever I go to Florida It just seems to be a tropical depression"

"I've always been the kind of person who likes to think outside of the box. Although it has harmed my career as a goalkeeper."

"I once had a job circumcising elephants. The pay sucked, but the tips were big!"