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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid North Korea's long range missiles."

"Why did the Amish woman get pregnant? Because she was seeing too many Mennonite."

"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."

"*walks up to a group of sad people at a funeral* Do y'all know the wifi password"

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."

"I'd say my girlfriend is a five. If you count the thumb."

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Welcome to the jungle. Happy Birthday to you. - Christina Aguilera at a kid's birthday party."

"Fancy Dress My mate and I decided to go to a fancy dress but he was adamant that we had to go dressed as Tom Chaplin and Jesse Quin. I wasn't very Keane on the idea."

"How do you tell the difference between an introvert or extrovert software engineer? The extrovert looks at your feet when talking."

"Damn girl, are you alcohol? Because I've had too much of you and I'm going to throw up."