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Joke of the Day

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."

"Q: Why are ghouls green? A: Because they didn't take their travel sickness pills."

"During the height of the Cold War, spies were prepared to commit suicide if caught, with the help of a tiny #weed cigarette."

"doc: ""your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas"" me: ""let me try"" [goes to adjust thermostat] dad: [opens one eye]"

"How many retards does it take to change a light bulb? Well, line up so that I can find out.."

"There once was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He is now a seasoned veteran."

"The size of penis doesn't correlate to the number of sex one will have Proof: the two largest populations in this world: China and India."

"[In the back of the car, imitating GPS voice] IN A HALF MILE, TAKE A SLIGHT RIGHT. ALSO PUT ERICS MIXTAPE BACK ON THAT WAS SO GOOD"

"What do you call a Mexican who has just lost his car? Carlos"

"A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class. I told her ""There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."""