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Joke of the Day

"If your mom calls you a son of a bitch, you might be a redneck."

"I'm not a liar. I have an English degree; I'm an unreliable narrator."

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."

"What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building? 20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*"

"Did you hear about the two deaf men who walked into a bar? Neither did they."

"I wrote a horror story using only six words. Donald Trump won the presidential election."

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"Want to talk about rape? No? That's the spirit."

"A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a beer."

"so a man answers a phone call... man - ""I don't know, I live about ten miles from the ocean"" wife - ""who was that? what did they want?"" man - ""some asshole who wanted to know if the coast was clear"""