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Joke of the Day

"so a man answers a phone call... man - ""I don't know, I live about ten miles from the ocean"" wife - ""who was that? what did they want?"" man - ""some asshole who wanted to know if the coast was clear"""

Next Joke
 
"Harry Potter's favorite band Just read the new Harry Potter story on Pottermore and learned one interesting factoid. His favorite band is Wand Erection."
"What do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7"
"My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me."
"Why is peter pan always flying? He never lands."
"My dick was once in the book of world records... But then I got kicked out of the library."
"Remember when we spent an entire year learning cursive? That's why the other countries are winning."
"What's a star trek fans favourite drink? Picardi and Kirk"
"You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem"
"Me: Speak. C'mon, boy, speak. Dog: No, I'm mad at you."