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Joke of the Day
"Whats about 9 inches and makes a woman scream? Cot death."
Next Joke
"What gets all sweaty as it rides on top of you? Your backpack."
"[phone rings] Mum: your grandad isn't well. I'm afraid he's on his deathbed Me: well tell him to get in a different bed then"
"It's a plant shaped like an egg. EGGPLANT! It's a place where we make fire. FIREPLACE! Diving in the sky. SKYDIVING! Humans are creative."
"[MORBID] What do black people and apples have in common? They both look better hanging."
"Kidnapping is such a strong word, I prefer to think of it as Surprise Adoption"
"If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker."
"What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore? Row v. Wade"
"The Earth and the Moon get in an argument The Moon tried to be the bigger body and walk away, but the Earth grabbed it and said ""I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. """
"doctor: u are overweight me: hah yeah doc: ok drop your pants me: ur giving mixed messages doc! doc: me: doc: me: so do u like the Indians"