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Joke of the Day
"How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic? None of the North Korean athletes defected."
Next Joke
"Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know."
"I shadowed an opthamolologic surgeon today. The experience was really eye opening."
"People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but... i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come"
"are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deep breath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen"
"There should be an ""oh my god, shut up already"" button."
"My brother was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder called pica, which means he eats non-nutritive substances... When I beat him at Jenga the other day, he literally shit bricks."
"What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates. #foreveralone"
"A man walks by a bar, the sign says ""lobster tail and beer $10"" He goes, what a deal for my 3 favourite things!"
"What do you get when you mix an elf and a scientologist? Elrond Hubbard!"