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Joke of the Day

"I paid $200,000 for an English degree and my coworker just asked me to proofread her Facebook status."

"Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? - A: Because you can't bury them in the sky!"

"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."

"I tell you what makes my blood boil, faulty spacesuits."

"Thanks to a hangover, I was the douche wearing sunglasses inside the airport today."

"What's green, fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table"

"Do you that thing about German people? There Himmel ist blau."

"Thinking of cryogenically freezing myself until they can find a cure for unemployment."

"Honey you're like my GPS... I'd be lost without you."

"What do you call a virus named Enza that causes the flu? a flu Enza. Thanks a lot everyone, I looked forward to this day for a long time."