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Joke of the Day

"Thinking of cryogenically freezing myself until they can find a cure for unemployment."

"Looking for jokes about short people... e.g. My friend is so short he XXX"

"Pouring one out for your homie is extra sad because first your friend died and now there's a mess."

"What do guns and millennials have in common? You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered."

"Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli."

"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you."

"I'm ""whenever my mother calls, I think it's because someone's dead"" years old."

"Did you hear about the Marine Rabbi that travelled the world giving circumcisions? They made a movie about him: American Snipper"

"If y is dependent upon x, that means y is determined by x. So we could call y the determinant. If that's true, then we can call x Arnold... because it's de-terminator. Heh."

"*texting with my mom* Mom: I miss your handsome face! Me: Aww..thanks, mom! I miss you too! Mom: Sorry. Wrong number."