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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cockerel and a prostitute? A cockerel says cock-a-doodle-do. Whereas a prostitute says any-cock-will-do."

"My German plumber accidentally hooked up my gas line to my shower... Looks like old habits die hard."

"Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman."

"The best pick up advice I've ever been told is.. ..always bend your knees."

"two atoms are talking.. ""Hey Bob, why the long face?"" ""I've just lost an electron."" ""What, are you sure?"" ""Yes..... I'm positive."""

"Oh you like Oreos? Name five of their albums. And I'm talking their obscure shit like watermelon, none of this main stream birthday cake shi"

"My girlfriend always keep her boobs pressed against my face when she asks me for expensive things.She calls it the ""Booby trap"""

"restaurant Waiter: Your coffee Me: Could I have a little spoon please? Waiter: Certainly *delicately embraces me from behind* Me: lovely"

"Some people wake up in the morning & are all like ""omg I'm the luckiest person in the world"" and I wake up all like ""oh my god"""

"If I want to commit suicide, all I would do is jump from your EGO' to your IQ Level'."