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Joke of the Day

"My German plumber accidentally hooked up my gas line to my shower... Looks like old habits die hard."

"Why are men typically smarter than women? They come across more things."

"Logic What happens when u ask a fake logic fan... What is your favorite logic album? Their response Flexicution"

"*clears throat and reads from the ancient parchment* i love big tittys"

"[firemen meeting] if we had a pole instead of stairs, we could get to the trucks much quicker *from back* ""why dont we just sit downstairs?"""

"After seeing how the Segway owner died, the guy who runs the Shake Weight company must be terrified."

"What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool."

"What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden? Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'"

"Alcoholics don't run in my family... ...they mostly stumble around and bump into things."

"Q: How do you fix a broken chimp? A: With a monkeywrench."