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Joke of the Day

"how do you get a 78 year old lady to scream f**k?! get another 78 year old lady to yell BINGO! waka waka!"

"Has anyone else noticed that the symbol ""&"" looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?"

"Hey girl, are you a repost? Because I fucking hate you and wish you didn't exist."

"Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup? Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!"

"Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)."

"""We have a new product, it washes hair but it needs a name"" Shamcrap?! ""Awful"" Shampoop?! ""Get out!"" Shampoo? ""Genius!"""

"mankind tried to Make Fire by banging 2 Rocks together.. All It got was Stone Cold"

"Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance."

"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."

"Are they ""haters"" or just ""people who noticed that you're a dick""? Check again."