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Joke of the Day

"Doctor Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises!"

"What do you call a plastic sheep? Lambinated!"

"What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."

"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."

"Why do you call an angry bear? A grrrrrrrizzly bear"

"My face is so oily The US wants to invade it."

"What do you call the history of a car? An autobiography."

"Sex through the ages: Age 20-30: Tri-weekly Age 30-40: Try weekly Age 40-50: Try weakly"

"I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:"

"What did the wall ask the picture? (All together now!) ***""How's it hangin'?""*** ~Skip"