60692

Joke of the Day

"I bought a new boomerang... but I couldn't throw away my old one."

"My computer is so slow . . . . . . I get a progress bar when I copy and paste . . . text."

"What did the magician say to the aerial student? I work on a different plane"

"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""

"5yo: ""Dad we don't have a chimney. How will Santa get in?"" Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what? Me: what?"

"Just been told I've got the job as a mime ... I'm speechless."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day Teach him to fish and you have lost a profitable business idea"

"[zombie movie set] Director into megaphone: ""We're about to start rolling. Look alive people!"" *actors look around confused as heck*"

"Did you hear that Jesus starred in a porn? it was called ""the second cumming"""

"I'll bet the lady on this bus can't fart. She'd never shut up long enough to build the required pressure."