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Joke of the Day
"I'm working on organizing a circlejerk. It's coming together."
Next Joke
"Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans."
"Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer."
"Knock Knock.... Whose there... Fuck you."
"The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene, but that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan."
"I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, ""What's up Abdul, won't it start?"""
"Possession is nine-tenths of the law. The other tenth must be exorcism."
"I didn't know that numbers were Irish until I started telling time."
"Spiders always act like they know some big secret but they don't know shit."
"NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant"