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Joke of the Day
"It's impossible to touch your elbows behind your back. You just pushed your boobs towards me."
Next Joke
"In Pakistan, what's the difference between an elementary school and a terrorist training camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone."
"Exposed Ashley Madison users feel hurt & betrayed, unsure if they can ever trust again."
"What did the poet with hemorrhoids say? I'm stuffin the puffin back into my muffin."
"CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?"
"Paramedics When one medic just isn't enough"
"Wife: What's the Harlem shake? Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King?"
"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call ...."
"Moths are really just butterflies on meth, all angry and shit while head-butting light bulbs and biting holes in your favorite shirt."
"How much for the soulmate? Ma'am, that's a bag of Doritos."