56573

Joke of the Day

"What's a zombie's favorite pop song? Dead sails in the sunset."

"Like on Amazon or in our house? [My response when my wife asks me if I can find something for her]"

"How do you deal with ignorant people? I really don't know."

"I just misspelled a word so bad that auto correct blew milk out its nose."

"What's a Mexican's dick when it's cold out? A little chili."

"A lot of people say they're ""real"" as if it's some sort of redeeming quality. Try not being an asshole. How's that for real?"

"Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by."

"in mexico, we don't say ""I love you"" cause we dont speak english."

"Emmy Awards In the U.S., your program has to win an Emmy. In the U.K., programme already has one."

"I didn't know what to do with all the gifts my ex gave me. So I took antibiotics until they went away."